Dating For 10 Years And Still Not Married - 7 Crazy Reasons (2024)

A lot of people have been dating for 10 years and still not married and are already asking questions. An average number of young women are in this category, and most do not really know what to do if there is any sign that they are wasting their time.

There are a lot of factors that make couples date for 10 years and still not married.

Dating For 10 Years And Still Not Married – 13 Signs Your Partner Doesn’t Want To Marry

There are a lot of signs to show that your partner is not ready for marriage. For this article, we will be looking at 13 signs. These Signs include:

1. Never Talks About The Future

It depends on the circ*mstances, but a decent rule of thumb is to address the big questions when you feel things are becoming more serious for both of you.

Please don’t wait until the relationship has developed into something serious; don’t do it after only one or two dates.
It is not a better sign if you’ve been together for years and have yet to discuss future plans for the relationship.

If your partner isn’t discussing plans with you, the probabilities are they need to be fully committed to the long term.

In a long-term relationship, discussing future plans is natural. If your partner feels furious or defensive when you bring up your future together, it indicates they are conflicted about it.

It likely signifies that they sense your desire to discuss marriage, which puts them under pressure because your partner does not want to marry. This could be why your partner has been dating for 10 years and is still not married.

2. Dropping Hints

Enlisting someone your partner admires, whether family or a close friend, may be able to drop some hints that you want to get engaged on your behalf about how amazing you are as a couple, and they should seal the deal before they lose you.

Listen to what your partner says if you want to know if they want to marry you. If your partner is unwilling to marry you, they will most likely drop signals to that effect.

Your spouse, for example, may make remarks about not wanting to rush into a serious relationship, or they may make remarks about how young the two of you are.

This could be a reason to guess that your partner has been dating for 10 years and is still not married.

3. Feeling Insecure

Insecurity is one of the most challenging issues in many marriages today, with more men than women feeling more uneasy than ever owing to financial inability, lack of self-love, jealousy, prior failures, or feeling worthless and undeserving love.

Living with an insecure partner can be a distressing experience that can lead to a toxic relationship that undermines your love for him.

Finding a soul mate is a tremendous success in marriage; nevertheless, not everyone is fortunate enough to find that man or woman with whom they are destined to spend the rest of their life.

A spouse unwilling to prioritize you and your marriage above all else within reason is concerned about your future together.
An insecure partner has a hazy understanding of marriage, and their devotion is solely motivated by selfish desires.

Living in a relationship where your partner feels insecure could be a major reason for your partner not to be interested in marriage.

4. Cares Only For Their Sexual Needs

Sex can help love partners become more intimate, and regular sex has been related to lower divorce rates among married couples.

It can also help physical and psychological health by reducing stress, enhancing sleep, and boosting immunological function.

Sex in partnerships can also increase happiness and help couples bond.
Sex has several emotional benefits, including it could boost your self-esteem.

It may facilitate a pleasurable connection with your own body. It could help you bond with your mate and convey your love and care for them.

But in a situation where your partner is not interested in satisfying you sexually but only interested in themselves, it is a big sign that your partner is not ready to commit to a long relationship with you.

5. Treating You Like A Priority

Making your spouse or partner a priority implies that their emotional needs are as important as yours.

You create your partnership as a place where everyone feels completely at home. Putting your partner first involves prioritizing their wants, feelings, and well-being before other people or things.

It’s crucial to make an effort whether you’ve been together for six months or 16 years. It makes all the difference to show your spouse that you want to make them happy (and will go out of your way to do so) and that you care about them beyond all else.

If you appear to be only an option in their life, meaning they want to spend out with you when other friends are unavailable, or they don’t have better arrangements, this is one of the top signals they don’t want to marry you.

When one partner is invested in the future of another, they will prioritize them because they do not want to lose them.

If you have the impression that you are not a priority, your spouse does not see a future with you and is most likely simply passing the time with you until they discover someone they believe will be their long-term partner.

6. Being Emotionally Unavailable

Fears of commitment and intimacy accompany emotional unavailability. You may engage in relationship behaviors with someone — go on dates, spend the night together, meet each other’s friends — yet they are unwilling to discuss a formal relationship.

A lack of emotional connection, for example, can indicate unavailability in a relationship. When we say that someone is emotionally unavailable, we mean that they are uncomfortable expressing their feelings, sharing their emotions with others, or being present and receptive to the emotions of others.

Being emotionally unavailable is enough sign to show that he is not serious about going further in a relationship with you. Talk more of marriage.

7. Making Excuses

Making excuses is a natural human reaction; we are social beings who care what others think of us and want to fit in.

We makeexcuses and evade responsibilitiesrather than confronting difficult talks and feelings. People who make excuses may feel relieved because they have averted some hardship.

The person can be called a procrastinator who extends their work to another day by making ridiculous reasons like I will do this another day; hence that person can be referred to as a procrastinator.

He may love you completely but refuse to marry you.

If he treats you well, is committed to you, and follows through on his commitments, his love for you is most likely genuine.

He could have a valid reason for not wanting to marry. He may not want to, which is fine.

If you’re wondering, “Will he ever propose to me?” But if he keeps creating excuses not to marry, the answer is likely no. It is natural to desire to be financially secure before getting married.

Still, if he obtains a major promotion and is doing well but then makes another reason not to marry, it indicates that marriage isn’t in his plans.

Perhaps his initial explanation was that he needed to make more money, but his next excuse was to acquire a house once he did.

Following that, he may state that he must wait till he can afford a destination wedding. He is prone to making excuses after excuse. It means he may not be ready for marriage yet.

Conclusion

It might not be very comforting when you discover some signals that your partner doesn’t want to marry you.

If you know these signals and have been in a relationship for several years, you can infer that your boyfriend or girlfriend isn’t interested in marriage.

It would help if you decided whether you are content to stay in this relationship or whether marriage is important enough to you that you are prepared to endure the temporary anguish of a breakup to eventually meet the person with whom you were meant to spend your life.

Dating For 10 Years And Still Not Married - 7 Crazy Reasons (2024)

FAQs

Is dating for 10 years too long? ›

Contrary to popular belief, staying together for extended stretches of time is not always a prerequisite for a happy marriage. Recent research has revealed that people who date for ten years or longer before getting married are more likely to divorce than others who don't wait as long.

Why do people stay together without getting married? ›

Another reason couples choose cohabitation before marriage is to help them strengthen their bond. Some couples believe you'll only get to know your partner when you start living together. By living together, they can spend more time together and build a stronger foundation for their relationship.

What are 10 reasons why people do not get married? ›

Reasons some people don't want to get married.
  • You're more focused on your career. ...
  • Bad experiences with marriage in the past. ...
  • Refusal to get married again. ...
  • A preference for nonmonogamy. ...
  • You view marriage as a patriarchal institution. ...
  • Marrying your partner is not legal where you live. ...
  • Financial reasons. ...
  • Divorce rates.
Aug 1, 2020

How long do relationships last without marriage? ›

Most couples date for two or more years before getting engaged, with many dating anywhere from two to five years. Once the question is popped, the average length of engagement is between 12 and 18 months.

What year is the hardest in a long term relationship? ›

The first year of the relationship is the hardest stage, and even when you're living together, you still discover new things about each other every day. How to Survive: The key to getting past the discovery stage is also discovery. The discovery of your partner's imperfections and your imperfections as well.

What is the 10 year rule in dating? ›

A relationship age gap bigger than 10 years often comes with its own set of issues. “While there are always exceptions to rules, a good rule to remember is that dating someone more than 10 years older will present challenges now or later that add to the preexisting challenges any relationship has,” he says.

Is it OK to be in a relationship and never get married? ›

It is possible, however, to have a committed and loving relationship without marriage, and some people who are uncomfortable with marriage ultimately change their minds. A disagreement about marriage doesn't have to end your relationship, particularly if you both are committed to the relationship.

Can you be fully committed without marriage? ›

Historically, couples who couldn't legally get married by the church or the state because of their sexual orientation or race opted for a commitment ceremony. Many couples still use commitment ceremonies to bind themselves to one another without going through the legal steps that marriage requires.

What causes a woman not to get married? ›

The researchers identified several reasons why more and more women are choosing not to get married including infidelity, increasing career opportunities and independence, and finding more security living with their parents and siblings.

How do you break up with someone who won't marry you? ›

Communicate your feelings carefully, and tell your partner why you don't see yourself marrying them. "The most important thing you can do for them to show compassion is to explain why you love them but don't want to marry them," Dr.

Why am I not getting married? ›

Mostly delaying factors are: career oriented efforts, higher qualification, family responsibilities to be fulfilled before being married, highly choosy, in search of a better partner etc. Apart from seventh house, some planets play very significant role in delaying the marriage.

What do you call a long-term relationship without marriage? ›

Cohabitation is an arrangement where people who are not married, usually couples, live together. They are often involved in a romantic or sexually intimate relationship on a long-term or permanent basis.

What is it called when you are in a long-term relationship but not married? ›

A cohabiting couple is a couple that lives together in an intimate and committed relationship, who are not married to each other and not in a civil partnership. Cohabiting couples can be opposite-sex or same-sex. A cohabiting relationship can continue to be 'intimate' even if it is not sexual.

What type of relationships last the longest? ›

  • Relationships shared around forgiveness. ...
  • Relationships that are based on an adventure. ...
  • Relationships that are built around intimacy. ...
  • Relationships based on trust. ...
  • Relationships that are built around a shared future. ...
  • Relationships that are based on shared vulnerability.
Jul 27, 2018

What are the 5 bonding stages for a man? ›

What are the 5 bonding stages for a man? Appreciation, infatuation, attraction, impression, and conviction are the 5 bonding stages for a man.

Is 7-year itch real? ›

Is the seven-year itch real? There's no definitive proof that the seven-year itch is real — or that it isn't, either. “While research outcomes vary somewhat, the percentage of divorces, particularly in first-time marriages, tends to spike around the seven- or eight-year mark,” Dr. Borland notes.

How do you survive the 7 year itch? ›

7 steps to scratch the seven-year itch
  1. Get real. Take an honest look at your emotions and thoughts towards your partner and your relationship. ...
  2. Sort your priorities. ...
  3. Communicate and compromise. ...
  4. Look at the little things. ...
  5. Rekindle the romance. ...
  6. Try something new. ...
  7. Talk to an expert.
Jan 3, 2020

How do you let go of a 10 year relationship? ›

Advertisem*nt
  1. Don't delay your grief. ...
  2. Be prepared for a little guilt and self-judgment. ...
  3. Ride out the waves of emotions. ...
  4. Self-soothe, but don't self-medicate. ...
  5. Accept that you will likely lose some friends. ...
  6. Befriend endorphins. ...
  7. Pick up a new hobby. ...
  8. Don't compare your grieving timeline with anyone else's.
Jan 7, 2015

Are you considered married after 10 years of dating? ›

California is not a state that recognizes common-law marriages. This means that, no matter how many years you spend living with a partner, you will not have the rights and privileges of a married couple unless you go through the process of becoming legally married in California.

How long should you be single after a 10 year relationship? ›

Wait at least 3 months before you start dating again.

If you've broken up after a long-term relationship, you may need more time. 6 months to 1 year is a good rule of thumb if your last relationship lasted a year or more. If you feel like you need even more time, that's okay!

Why didn't he want to marry me? ›

There are many reasons why men do not want to get married, but most of them boil down to one thing: they just don't feel ready. They may not have found someone they are truly compatible with yet, or they may be too young and inexperienced in life to handle the responsibility of marriage.

What is the likelihood of never getting married? ›

when today's young adults reach their mid-40s to mid-50s, a record high share (25%) is likely to have never been married.” In 1956, just about everyone got married. Half of the men were younger than 22.5 when they married, and half of the women were younger than 20.1.

What will happen to a man who never gets married? ›

According to recent scientific studies, men who never get married may gain strength from solitude. They have more extensive social networks and a deeper connection to work. They're also differently vulnerable to some of life's travails.

What makes a man want to get married? ›

Unconditional Love

Back to that thing called love. It's the primary reason why men get married. In fact, in a survey conducted by Pew Research, 93 percent of married people (both men and women) said love was the reason why they got married, and 84 percent of unmarried people want to marry because of love.

Why do some men never get married? ›

Men staying single can often be attributed to their lack of willingness to make adjustments to accommodate a person in their life. Some men are not marrying because they might believe that men shouldn't get married as they will have to give up material and non-material things in their lives.

Should I leave if he won't marry me? ›

“If your partner doesn't want to get married and you do, you should not necessarily leave,” says Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin, a counselor and co-founder of the The Marriage Restoration Project. “Sometimes one partner feels pressured and is reluctant to commit.” But time can change this, Slatkin says.

What is love without commitment called? ›

Infatuated love: Infatuated love is passion without intimacy or commitment. This is considered "puppy love" or relationships that have not become serious yet. Romantic relationships often start out as infatuated love and become romantic love as intimacy develops over time.

What is the not getting married ring? ›

A commitment ring publicly acknowledges the importance and permanence of a relationship, without necessarily serving as an announcement of an impending marriage. Wedding bells might be in the couple's future, or they might not.

What can you do instead of getting married? ›

Domestic partnership

For individuals seeking a committed relationship who do not want to enter a traditional marriage, a domestic partnership can be a helpful alternative. A domestic partnership is a formal, legally recognized union between two individuals who live together and share a domestic life.

Why am I hesitating to get married? ›

Causes Of Fear Of Marriage

Several things can contribute to gamophobia, including environment, upbringing, and past traumatic experiences, such as in your childhood, or a previous relationship that wasn't healthy. Sometimes, the fear is one of divorce more so than of commitment or marriage itself.

What is it called when a man never gets married? ›

bachelor. noun. a man who has never been married. It is more usual to say that someone who is not married is single.

What is it called when a woman doesn't marry? ›

The Oxford American English Dictionary defines spinster as "an unmarried woman, typically an older woman beyond the usual age for marriage".

Why is silence powerful after breakup? ›

Staying silent can also help you feel empowered. You're taking charge and showing your ex that you're capable of and willing to live life without them. Whether you're the one who was hurt or the one who ended it, cutting off communication after a breakup puts you in control.

What is considered a long term relationship? ›

Long-term relationships tend to last anywhere from two to three years, with couples breaking up around this time. Not surprisingly, this is when many couples experience the oxytocin dip and feel less infatuated with each other. They may begin to notice relational issues that bother them or feel unresolvable.

What are the problems with long term relationships? ›

The most common issues include wanting your partner to change, sexual problems, and not spending enough time and effort on yourself. Psychology can help partners communicate better and work through some of the most difficult relationship issues.

What age is late marriage? ›

For men, “early” meant a wedding before the age of 26, “on time” referred to between the ages of 27 and 30, and “late” meant they married after 30. Outcomes exhibited that people who got married on time or late were least likely to convey depressive symptoms in midlife.

How do you deal with never getting married? ›

How to accept the fact that I will never get married: 13 steps to take
  1. 1) Express, don't suppress — however you're really feeling. ...
  2. 2) Understand that your marriage status is not a reflection of your worth. ...
  3. 3) Dig around into your real motive for wanting to get married. ...
  4. 4) Get advice specific to your situation.

What does the Bible say about not marrying? ›

Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry. But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.

What percentage of relationships last 10 years? ›

In fact, the chances of a first marriage lasting at least ten years were 68 percent for women and 70 percent for men, according to the National Survey of Family Growth. For the 20-year mark, the probability decreases to 52 percent for women and 56 percent for men.

What percentage of couples make it to 10 years? ›

What percentage of couples make it to 10 years? Just about 70% of married couples in the United States make it to their 10th wedding anniversary. What percentage of couples make it to 20 years? The likelihood of a couple making it to their 20th anniversary drops to just about 50% after their 10-year anniversary.

Is 10 years too long to wait for a proposal? ›

The truth of the matter is that there is no right or wrong length of time to wait to get engaged. Some couples wait six years before making it official, while others date for just six months—it all depends on your unique circ*mstances.

How long is considered a long-term relationship? ›

Long-term relationships tend to last anywhere from two to three years, with couples breaking up around this time. Not surprisingly, this is when many couples experience the oxytocin dip and feel less infatuated with each other. They may begin to notice relational issues that bother them or feel unresolvable.

What year is most common for breakup? ›

New research shows that relationships are actually more vulnerable to demise far sooner than the dreaded seven year itch. The most common time for a couple to split is right around the two year mark. By then, you've most likely seen everything about your partner—their best and their worst physically and emotionally.

What are the most common years couples break up? ›

While there are countless divorce studies with conflicting statistics, the data points to two periods during a marriage when divorces are most common: years 1 – 2 and years 5 – 8. Of those two high-risk periods, there are two years in particular that stand out as the most common years for divorce — years 7 and 8.

How many couples are 10 years apart? ›

In Western countries, of male-female couples have an age-gap of 10 years or more, rising to 25% in male-male unions and 15% of female-female relationships. For some the gap is even larger – data suggests that around 1% of heterosexual couples in the US have an age difference of 28 years or more.

Do relationships 10 years apart work? ›

Romantic couples with a large age gap often raise eyebrows. Studies have found partners with more than a 10-year gap in age experience social disapproval. But when it comes to our own relationships, both men and women prefer someone their own age, but are open to someone 10-15 years their junior or senior.

Which gender initiates divorce more? ›

A study led by the American Sociological Association determined that nearly 70% of divorces are initiated by women. And the percentage of college-educated American women who initiated divorce is even higher.

What is the number one cause of divorce? ›

Lack of commitment is the most common reason given by divorcing couples according to a recent national survey. Here are the reasons given and their percentages: Lack of commitment 73% Argue too much 56%

What is the average time it takes a man to propose? ›

We determined that the median engagement age in the United States is 27.2 years for women, and 28.7 years for men — a 1.5 year difference. Furthermore, the median amount of time a couple dates before the proposal is 3.3 years.

What are the consequences of waiting too long to propose? ›

One lasting side effect for taking too long to propose is that your partner may begin to feel resentful. They may feel as though something must be wrong with them that is making you not want to pop the question. Or they may start feeling like you just don't value them or take them seriously.

How long does it take for a man to know he wants to marry you? ›

Six to 7 months

Research has indicated that the average North American man takes 6-7 months to conclude if the person he is dating is marriage material to him. This low number may come as a shock to many people who are in unmarried relationships lasting years, which can happen for several reasons.

How do you tell if a man really loves you? ›

The Greeks, however, specified the different types of love even further, identifying eight, which are as follows:
  • 8 types of love:
  • He embraces all parts of you.
  • He talks about a future with you.
  • He's supportive.
  • He makes an effort to grow closer.
  • He's vulnerable with you.
  • He prioritizes you.
  • He meets you halfway.
Oct 28, 2022

What are the stages after a long term relationship? ›

Stage 1: The euphoric stage - 6 months to 24 months (2 years) Stage 2: The early attachment stage - 12 months (1 year) to 60 months (5 years) Stage 3: The crisis stage - 60 months (5 years) to 84 months (7 years) Stage 4: The deep attachment stage - 84 months (7 years) and beyond.

What is a long term serious relationship? ›

In the most basic sense, a serious relationship is one in which you're completely committed to your partner; you're totally open and honest with one another; you trust each other deeply; and you're on the same page, not only in terms of your values and ethics but about your future together as well.

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